When our consciousness isn’t rooted in the “now” moment, it gets split. Part of it will go off to the past, or in the future, or anywhere else other than here and now. It’s very hard to create a new reality when your consciousness isn’t present to create. This is all programming that is used to steer us away from “hearing” the internal dialogue within ourselves and preventing us from truly knowing ourselves.

The internal dialogue is our Emotions and feelings. They are always there to send us messages about something going on  internally or externally. When we observe, without judgement, or without attachment, we allow ourselves to receive the quiet messages and in doing so, take the action to become more balanced. The problems find solutions as we learn to communicate with our body. Our understanding  for ourselves grows deeper. Its only when we understand ourselves that we can truly understand others. 

The more I communicate with my body the easier it is to identify which Body needs attention: my physical body, my male light body, or my female light body. The more I communicate the more I can differentiate between them. Sometimes they overlap each other too. Sometimes I see my male as my physical body giving me strength and supporting me. Sometimes my female is calling for a creative outlet and my male is the physical body that lets her create. This all helps me know myself on a deeper level.

I notice I feel alot of head pressure and head tension when I’m in my head space too much. As soon as I become aware of it and put my focus back on my heart space I can immediately feel the pressure releasing. I then move on to observe my body and narrate what it is telling me in that moment. It brings my consciousness back to the present moment. 

It allows me to deprogram and move on from old story lines and thought processes that aren’t serving me.

I was feeling very weepy yesterday because of my cycle. So I asked my female what she needs and she screamed “Write!” And this is what came out of her yesterday. She needs the creative expression. And after expressing she felt empowered again. She felt heard and understood and through her expression she allowed me male to understand her better and because of that he can better understand himself now too since his job is all for her. I will explain more about that.

What I’ve learned about myself through observation and communicating with each character/energy within my self.

What I’ve learned by observing is that its my male who needs more comfort support and nurturing than my female. This was surprising to me because I would have assumed that it was my female who needs alot of reassurance. While my female remembered her healthy balanced state rather quickly and took on her role- my masculine energy on the other hand is having a harder time. He is still learning how to get his needs met without his toxic attributes. Before, he would have projected all his fear onto anyone around him. He would have acted stubborn,  arrogant , destructive and quite narcissistic.

Now that he is healing and no longer acting on these toxic behaviors to get his needs met I feel him in alot of fear and anxiety. He needs alot of reassurance that he is doing his part and he needs to be acknowledged. 

The needs of my male or quite different than the needs of my female. 

My female needs to explore, create, sense and feel. 

His needs are to be her strength, support, and protection. He feels lost if she doesn’t allow him to be this for her. He also needs to be acknowledged for doing it.

So when I feel fear and anxiety and I tune into see where it’s coming from, its actually been my masculine as of recently. I reassure him and ask him if there is anything I can do. Sometimes it’s acknowledgement- Sometimes I realize that he is trying to support me or protect me and I haven’t been allowing him or I’ve been dismissive to him. That’s where the fear and anxiety come in because he doesn’t feel as much purpose without her. My female then has to come nurture him and I can feel the anxiety settling down. 

I see how my internal energies is all just a reflection of of my relationship with my partner now. Whatever is going on internally between the male and female energies will reflect out into the relationships around us. For so long I wasn’t allowing my partner to be my support, strength and stability. I wasn’t giving him the acknowledgment that the male energy needs when they are playing their role. I can now understand the disconnection between us. It’s by understanding myself better that I can understand him now too.

Although we have both energies inside us we also serve distinct purposes within the partnership as well. Even if you are balanced within yourself you will always hold a dominant energy within the partnership so that you can each do your part in a harmonious way. 

So what is happening to my male is also whats happening to the masculine energies on a larger scale. Because of he matrix manipulation the male universal energies wasn’t doing his part in protecting and supporting Gaia. Now that he is waking up he is healing and having to relearn his role in a healthy balanced way. He too is releasing old patterns and we are seeing this reflected within us. 

This is good news for us, but just like all things new, it can feel uncomfortable at first. They are the growing pains. So just stick it out and keep up the communication within yourself by observing and being the narrator of whats going on within you. You don’t have to continue with the old story line. You can now start to write your own story!

https://youtu.be/4IW89oUhlO4